ellicia; the kind one
but are you really?
you there in your sea of knowledge
don't you think we know this knowledge?
we see you eating from this tree
but knowledge is nothing
without wisdom
and wisdom is nothing
without Jehovah
so you plan
the perfect birth
the candles and music
the most pefect way to enter this dismal world
just you and your husband welcoming this new infant
how romantic
how perfect
and researched yes
I acknowledge this
if research is reading romantic stories and not searching
for the contigencies
sweetie, there are always contingencies
thats life
the pefect birth
your perfect plan so easily can turn on your
and life is so fragile
so beautiful; yet so fragile
so impossibly imperfect
a tear that can not be stopped
a newborn baby not breathing
oh to not fear these dreadful things
what arrogance to believe they can't happen
not to you
not to your perfect birth
Murphy's Law always applies
you can not isolate yourself away from this
whatever can happen; will happen
you can not isolate yourself away from the truth
you can not live in this paradise you have made for yourself
however so sweet and optimistic
I love you for your dreams
but I can not support you in your risk taking
not when there is a baby involved
A baby
doesnt' care what her birth story is
a baby only wants to be alive
a perfect birth
is only perfect to the mother
like a wedding that is looked upon for years
and years
the most perfect day in the world
the young girl dreams
and the day comes
but doesn't matter
what matters is the days that follow
the decades of living with the same person
wanting to live and love, die and hate
so it is with the perfect birth
it doesnt' matter
what matters are the days, weeks, months, years that follow
decades of loving a person
who in the end; barely thinks of you
look at y ou, look at barbara
tell me that I do not know what I am talking about
your perfect birth
your being selfish
and worrying your family
unnecessarily
I don't know if this time
you can be forgiven
your baby only asks to be loved